Posts Tagged alcohol

Properly Stocked Pre-Weekend Fridge

A while back we found ourselves faced with an upcoming weekend… for which we thanked the Sun, Moon, Stars and, of course, the Bacon Gods. In preparation for the joyous event we stocked up on all the necessities:

  • Beer
  • Tequila
  • Vodka
  • More Beer
  • Margarita Mix
  • More Tequila
  • Bacon
  • Eggs
  • More Bacon
  • … and a Fire Extinguisher

If you have to ask WHY we would need a fire extinguisher, you have OBVIOUSLY never attended one of our famous outdoor gatherings around the bonfire… the bonfire that lights up the light sky and resembles an atomic explosion to neighbors 50 miles away.

Granted we usually keep a garden hose handy for these events, but sometimes drunk people like to get a little too close to the fire and experience has taught us that chasing a flaming drunk around with a garden hose doesn’t always work out as planned. A fire extinguisher comes as a convenient, self-contained unit with no long tail attached to the house which can and WILL knock damn near EVERYthing in the backyard over as you chase down a flaming, drunken retard you call your best friend on any other day.

Yep. We really should have taken pictures from that weekend. On second thought, stuff like that can end up in a Court of Law. Never mind. We’ll stick with the few, fuzzy, and severely alcohol diluted memories we can remember.

Less jail time that way.

Tags: , , , , ,

Alcoholics Love Bacon, Too

Originally we thought about using this article to praise bacon for its wonderfully greasy nature. A trait which makes it sooooo damn good at 3:18 in the morning after a long night of drinking. No one can deny the soothing effect bacon has on a person’s stomach at that hour and under those conditions.

Something came to our attention recently, though, that has caused us to scrap the original bacon praising agenda. We will, instead, go with the alcohol theme and talk briefly about bacon flavored vodka.

Some people love it, some people hate it. We have not yet tried it. For some reason our love for beer just won’t allow us to take the bacon vodka plunge. That does not, however, mean we won’t talk about it like we know all about it. To not speak when we know nothing about a topic would make us… Boring.

No one likes Boring and Boring does not get invited to all the cool parties where hot ladies wearing bacon bikinis serve endless bacon appetizers, neverending bacon entrees, an eternity’s worth of bacon desserts… and now, apparently, they also serve a free flowing river of bacon flavored drinks.

What kind of drinks? Feast your bacon (and alcohol) loving eyes on these!

Bakon Mary

“Bakon Mary”

+ 1 oz. to 1½ oz. Bakon Vodka in a Highball glass filled with ice.
+ Fill glass with tomato juice
+ 1 dash celery salt
+ 1 dash ground black pepper
+ 1 dash Tabasco
+ 2-4 dashes of Worcestershire sauce
+ 1/8 tsp. horseradish (pure, never creamed)
+ Dash of lemon or lime juice

Garnish with a celery stalk; a skewer of olives, pickles, carrots, mushrooms, or other vegetables; or even meat or shrimp (bacon, salami, shrimp, etc.) and cheese. Pickled asparagus spears or pickled beans are also great as a garnish.

Bakon Chocolate Martini

“Bakon Chocolate Martini”

+ 1 part Bakon Vodka
+ 1 part chocolate liqueur
+ A splash of cream

Combine in a cocktail shaker and shake with ice. Strain and pour into a sugar-rimmed martini glass.

Irish Boar

“Irish Boar”

+ 2 parts Bakon Vodka
+ 1 part coffee liqueur
+ 1 part Irish cream
+ 1/2 part hazelnut liqueur
+ 1 part half-and-half

Shake with ice, strain into salt- and sugar-rimmed martini or rocks glass. Contributed by Adam at the Twilight Exit in Seattle, WA.

Bakon Rosemary Martini

“Bakon Rosemary Martini”

+ 1 part Bakon Vodka
+ Dash of dry vermouth
+ 1 sprig of rosemary

Stir all ingredients in a mixing glass without ice for a few seconds. Add lots of ice cubes and stir more and strain into a well chilled cocktail glass. Garnish with a sprig of rosemary and a cocktail onion.

Tags: , , , , ,