Archive for category Raw Bacon

Blakk Frogg’s Fourth of July Photos

Yes, we know the 4th of July happened two weeks… deal with it.

At some point over that weekend the infamous Blakk Frogg decided to put a few things together that represented HIS Fourth of July Celebration and below you will see what that evil bastard came up with… after a full day of pounding beers, eating bacon and buying things to blow up.

Now if that photo doesn’t explain everything RIGHT w/ America, then what does? Granted Blakk Frogg omitted the inclusion of a Maxim Magazine cover, but only because his new edition had not arrived in the mail yet. Ha ha.

Blakk Frogg never bought fireworks legally before. If he had more money available, he’d have bought A WHOLE LOT MORE than he did — in spite of his girlfriend’s protests.

Something about hanging out with friends all day drinking ice cold beers pulled from a sizable “bucket of beer”, grilling a truckload of meat on the grill (most flavored somehow w/ bacon, of course), and then blowing things up LEGALLY really appeals to a Frogg.

Wait… Did you just see the award-winning phrase “bucket of beer” and NOT understand what that meant? Sinners! The whole lot of you! We must educate you, ya’ filthy heathens!

Yes. Yes we like beer. Yes we like bacon. Yes we wish the whole world would just stopping acting like a bunch of bitches and just send us all its beer and bacon.

Is that so WRONG?

Bacon Wrapped Chicken Tenderloins

Do we ever get tired of bacon and chicken? Never! To even ASK such thing equals bacon blasphemy and we don’t STAND for that kind of talk ’round these parts!

“All praise be to bacon. You are salty. You are meaty. We love you, Bacon! Amen.”

Getting back to the point of this blog entry, we snagged some chicken tenderloins on sale at the local grocery store and instantly knew what to do with them: Wrap Them in Bacon.

Bacon Wrapped Chicken Tenderloins
Bacon Wrapped Chicken Tenderloins

Please note that we do NOT normally splurge on chicken tenderloins. Ordinarily we find the pricing of that food item as ridiculous and absurd as gasoline prices a few years ago. The idea of spending $4.99 per pound (or more) for little strips of chicken offends us because money wasted on overpriced chicken could have gotten used to buy an extra pack of Center Cut Bacon, more beer, or BOTH.

Right before we shoved these puppies under the broiler we had the idea of battering them up and deep frying them… but that idea went nowhere. We don’t own a deep fryer and the idea of all that hot grease landing on one of us ‘cuz we drunkenly bumped into while trying to explain why goats and sheep sound so much alike did not sound all that entertaining.

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Bacon Garnished Shrimp

On this particular evening we found ourselves mildly buzzed from a day of drinking copious amounts of tequila colored lightly w/ margarita mix… and in possession of shrimp and bacon. What to do, what to do…

Then the idea struck us: Get out a big knife and drunkenly cut up some bacon into garnish-like strips and wrap each shrimp! BRILLIANT!

Bacon Garnished Shrimp
Bacon Garnished Shrimp — On the Burner?!? Ha ha!

Needless to say, the combination of ‘large knife, greasy bacon and drunken fingers’ entertained us for quite a while. No one went to the hospital, surprisingly, and not one piece of bacon OR shrimp fell on the floor during the preparation process.

Pretty much all of US, though, DID fall on the floor at some point after we enjoyed our lovely little bacony seafood morsels.

Tequila… it reminds you that gravity works, and works WELL.

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Bacon on the Stove at an Angle

Ordinarily we’d claim beer or some other alcoholic beverage made us take a picture of bacon cooking in the pan from some weird angle but no, that didn’t happen this time. we just felt like making a certain percentage of our readers nauseous… or at the very least we wanted then to turn their heads like curious dogs when they look at the picture.

Bacon Cooking -- Weird Angle, Right?
Bacon Cooking in the Pan… All Angled and Stuff.

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Wake-N-Bacon Alarm Clock

Just when you thought life could not get any better, some fool goes and invents an alarm clock that begins to slowly cook a slice of bacon 10 minutes before the alarm goes off. Simply place a frozen strip of bacon in the clock, set the alarm, and pass out.

Bacon awaits you in the morning, Master!

Wake'n'Bacon Alarm Clock
Wake Up to a Strip of Fresh Cooked Bacon

Imagine, if you will, waking up to the glorious smell of bacon each and every morning — without the expense of a live-in chef OR the aggravation of an annoying significant other who gets up earlier than you do!

Never mind the obvious fire hazard created when ya’ put a heating unit inside a wooden pig. Think, instead, about all the great mornings your half-asleep self will clumsily jam your grubby fingers inside a hot tray and burn the dog snot out of yourself.

As you reel your fingers back in pain, try not to drop your salty, meaty bacon prize on your (most likely unswept and un-vacuumed) floor — ‘cuz then you will have a mere ten seconds to pick it up and eat it w/o fear of germs.

10 second rule, man! The ten second rule!

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I’ve Died and Gone to… Bacon?

Some days a guy can really luck out, ya’ know? Take the other day, for example. After a long 10-hour day of slaving away at the office and then fighting traffic on my way home for an hour and a half I dropped all my sh#t in the front hallway of my home, marched directly towards the kitchen to get a beer and saw… this… along the way.

A Bounty of Bacon
A Beautiful Bounty of Bacon

Apparently my girlfriend went shopping earlier and got us some presents. I love Christmas! Wait… Didn’t we celebrate that a month or so ago? I don’t care! I see bacon!

They need to create a bacon-centric Holiday so that we bacon lovers can rejoice and share the gift of bacon with our fellow bacon believers. I don’t think I’ll live to SEE the day when a standard issue office calendar has Bacon Day listed as an official government Holiday or ever have a chance to walk through a Hallmark Store and browse through Bacon Day greeting cards, but perhaps my children will.

Getting back to the bacon on the table though, wow! A beautiful bounty of bacon… and things get better! Not only did she purchase a perfect pile of pork products, she already had some laid in a frying pan ready to cook! She also had a cold beer for me in her hand!

Man oh man. A cold beer and all that beautiful bacon. Talk about awesome, right? Totally awesome. Love at first sight.

Oh, and as for the girlfriend, I think I’ll keep her around a little while longer.

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Bacon Wrapped Hashbrowns… We Had to Try It

Every once in a great while we get the urge to combine bacon with… pretty much anything we can get our hands on. This time we drank a few too many screwdrivers (that’s vodka and OJ… in case you didn’t know) BEFORE breakfast and thought, “Hey! Wrap the hashbrown thingies in bacon… and bake!”

“Yes, Sir, Captain Belvedere! That sounds like a GREAT idea!”

* burp *

Bacon Wrapped Hashbrowns
Bacon Wrapped Hashbrowns

The house started to smell pretty good as the slippery meat slowly drained its meaty juices into the hashbrowns and the hasbrowns drank up every drop.

Wow. That sounded pretty obscene.

But anyways, the cooking took place and soon we ventured back to the oven which we keep over near the fridge — the fridge that conveniently held the vodka and OJ. After doling out another round of 22 ounce pre-breakfast brain bashers and giving them a hearty taste test, we opened up the oven and saw…

Bacon Wrapped Hashbrowns
Bacon Wrapped Hashbrowns

Needless to say we did not get the results we thought we would, but everything turned out OK in the end… ‘cuz it tasted fine and we had no choice BUT to eat the stuff since we had nothing else in the house worth eating and none of us could pass a sobriety test if we got pulled over.

All this before 9 AM. Saturdays ROCK!

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Pepper Bacon Wrapped Chicken Chunks

We write this blog entry for the REAL motherfroggers out there in Bacon Land… for the HARDWORKING bastards (like us) who just can’t seem to catch a break these days.

The other week we ran into some serious financial woes and found ourselves scrounging for change in the sofa cushions and having to actually plan our meals instead of just opening the fridge/freezer, picking a bacon, selecting a ‘side item’, cooking and eating.

Below you will see chicken breasts that we cut into smaller, no longer man-sized portions, and wrapped w/ a few slices of black pepper bacon we had left over from a previous bacon feast.

Pepper Bacon Wrapped Chicken Chunks
Pepper Bacon Wrapped Chicken Chunks

Though we did feel incredibly grateful that we at least had food to eat, making what you see in the photo last for 2 dinners and 2 lunches really sucked. Thankfully we had lots of crack cocaine to smoke between meals so we never felt any hunger pains. LOL.

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Most Popular Bacon Postings for December 2009

As would only make sense on a web site devoted to bacon and all its salty, meaty goodness… we will now present the most popular entries on More Bacon Please for the month of December. So get your bibs on, people! It’s BACON TIME!

  • Duck Prosciutto Wrapped Melon Sorbet — Talk about a delicious idea! Not bacon, no, but contained meat and tasted so good we gave it an Honorary Bacon Degree!

  • Breakfast Meats Cure Hangovers — Groundbreaking new study ‘proves’ something we always suspected.

  • Have a Threesome With Bacon — Get your minds out of the gutter, people! You should feel ashamed that you had those dirty, dirty thoughts… though we had them, too, so…

  • Bacon Flavored Ice Cream — Although we do not approve of this product, we do approve of the word bacon in its title and on its ingredients list. We just refuse to eat bacon flavored ice cream.

  • The Better Bacon Sandwich — Time to decide which sandwich with bacon you would choose. Granted we think it a sin to EVER pass up a chance to eat bacon, but just pretend for a minute that you HAD to choose only on sandwich that had bacon on it… We said pretend, damn it!

And this entry gets honorable mention… ‘cuz WE liked it even if the rest of you didn’t!

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Have a Threesome With Bacon!

Oh, you filthy-minded bacon lovers! I bet you thought you would see something DIRTY when you clicked the link and got to this page! Ha ha.

Threesome With Bacon
Black Pepper Bacon, Plumrose Premium Bacon and… You!

Well who doesn’t get all excited when they think about bacon and s-e-x, right? If the thought of getting into it with two hot, lean, salty types of bacon doesn’t get your motor running, you should seek professional help!

Here… Let our Bacon Nurses show you to your room…

The Bacon BraBacon Bikini Girls

We hope you enjoy the happy ending bacon massage! Ha ha…

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