Archive for category Meat Story

Bacon Wrapped Chicken Tenderloins

Do we ever get tired of bacon and chicken? Never! To even ASK such thing equals bacon blasphemy and we don’t STAND for that kind of talk ’round these parts!

“All praise be to bacon. You are salty. You are meaty. We love you, Bacon! Amen.”

Getting back to the point of this blog entry, we snagged some chicken tenderloins on sale at the local grocery store and instantly knew what to do with them: Wrap Them in Bacon.

Bacon Wrapped Chicken Tenderloins
Bacon Wrapped Chicken Tenderloins

Please note that we do NOT normally splurge on chicken tenderloins. Ordinarily we find the pricing of that food item as ridiculous and absurd as gasoline prices a few years ago. The idea of spending $4.99 per pound (or more) for little strips of chicken offends us because money wasted on overpriced chicken could have gotten used to buy an extra pack of Center Cut Bacon, more beer, or BOTH.

Right before we shoved these puppies under the broiler we had the idea of battering them up and deep frying them… but that idea went nowhere. We don’t own a deep fryer and the idea of all that hot grease landing on one of us ‘cuz we drunkenly bumped into while trying to explain why goats and sheep sound so much alike did not sound all that entertaining.

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Bacon Garnished Shrimp

On this particular evening we found ourselves mildly buzzed from a day of drinking copious amounts of tequila colored lightly w/ margarita mix… and in possession of shrimp and bacon. What to do, what to do…

Then the idea struck us: Get out a big knife and drunkenly cut up some bacon into garnish-like strips and wrap each shrimp! BRILLIANT!

Bacon Garnished Shrimp
Bacon Garnished Shrimp — On the Burner?!? Ha ha!

Needless to say, the combination of ‘large knife, greasy bacon and drunken fingers’ entertained us for quite a while. No one went to the hospital, surprisingly, and not one piece of bacon OR shrimp fell on the floor during the preparation process.

Pretty much all of US, though, DID fall on the floor at some point after we enjoyed our lovely little bacony seafood morsels.

Tequila… it reminds you that gravity works, and works WELL.

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Bacon, Chicken, Provolone & Jalapenos

Now if THIS meal does not make ya’ say, “Yum….” then check your pulse ‘cuz we think you might have passed away and not known it.

The combination of bacon, grilled (marinated) chicken breast, fresh sliced jalapenos and provolone cheese kicks major amounts of ass — and can BURN one’s ass the next day if too many jalapenos get used. Ha ha.

Bacon Wrapped Chicken Topped w/ Jalapeno Slices and Provolone Cheese
Bacon + Chicken + Provolone + Jalapenos = Awesome

Notice we even included a vegetable on the plate this time? Yep. Broccoli works as an excellent side dish with a bacon, chicken and cheese creation.

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Wake-N-Bacon Alarm Clock

Just when you thought life could not get any better, some fool goes and invents an alarm clock that begins to slowly cook a slice of bacon 10 minutes before the alarm goes off. Simply place a frozen strip of bacon in the clock, set the alarm, and pass out.

Bacon awaits you in the morning, Master!

Wake'n'Bacon Alarm Clock
Wake Up to a Strip of Fresh Cooked Bacon

Imagine, if you will, waking up to the glorious smell of bacon each and every morning — without the expense of a live-in chef OR the aggravation of an annoying significant other who gets up earlier than you do!

Never mind the obvious fire hazard created when ya’ put a heating unit inside a wooden pig. Think, instead, about all the great mornings your half-asleep self will clumsily jam your grubby fingers inside a hot tray and burn the dog snot out of yourself.

As you reel your fingers back in pain, try not to drop your salty, meaty bacon prize on your (most likely unswept and un-vacuumed) floor — ‘cuz then you will have a mere ten seconds to pick it up and eat it w/o fear of germs.

10 second rule, man! The ten second rule!

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I’ve Died and Gone to… Bacon?

Some days a guy can really luck out, ya’ know? Take the other day, for example. After a long 10-hour day of slaving away at the office and then fighting traffic on my way home for an hour and a half I dropped all my sh#t in the front hallway of my home, marched directly towards the kitchen to get a beer and saw… this… along the way.

A Bounty of Bacon
A Beautiful Bounty of Bacon

Apparently my girlfriend went shopping earlier and got us some presents. I love Christmas! Wait… Didn’t we celebrate that a month or so ago? I don’t care! I see bacon!

They need to create a bacon-centric Holiday so that we bacon lovers can rejoice and share the gift of bacon with our fellow bacon believers. I don’t think I’ll live to SEE the day when a standard issue office calendar has Bacon Day listed as an official government Holiday or ever have a chance to walk through a Hallmark Store and browse through Bacon Day greeting cards, but perhaps my children will.

Getting back to the bacon on the table though, wow! A beautiful bounty of bacon… and things get better! Not only did she purchase a perfect pile of pork products, she already had some laid in a frying pan ready to cook! She also had a cold beer for me in her hand!

Man oh man. A cold beer and all that beautiful bacon. Talk about awesome, right? Totally awesome. Love at first sight.

Oh, and as for the girlfriend, I think I’ll keep her around a little while longer.

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Bacon Wrapped Hashbrowns… We Had to Try It

Every once in a great while we get the urge to combine bacon with… pretty much anything we can get our hands on. This time we drank a few too many screwdrivers (that’s vodka and OJ… in case you didn’t know) BEFORE breakfast and thought, “Hey! Wrap the hashbrown thingies in bacon… and bake!”

“Yes, Sir, Captain Belvedere! That sounds like a GREAT idea!”

* burp *

Bacon Wrapped Hashbrowns
Bacon Wrapped Hashbrowns

The house started to smell pretty good as the slippery meat slowly drained its meaty juices into the hashbrowns and the hasbrowns drank up every drop.

Wow. That sounded pretty obscene.

But anyways, the cooking took place and soon we ventured back to the oven which we keep over near the fridge — the fridge that conveniently held the vodka and OJ. After doling out another round of 22 ounce pre-breakfast brain bashers and giving them a hearty taste test, we opened up the oven and saw…

Bacon Wrapped Hashbrowns
Bacon Wrapped Hashbrowns

Needless to say we did not get the results we thought we would, but everything turned out OK in the end… ‘cuz it tasted fine and we had no choice BUT to eat the stuff since we had nothing else in the house worth eating and none of us could pass a sobriety test if we got pulled over.

All this before 9 AM. Saturdays ROCK!

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Pepper Bacon Wrapped Chicken Chunks

We write this blog entry for the REAL motherfroggers out there in Bacon Land… for the HARDWORKING bastards (like us) who just can’t seem to catch a break these days.

The other week we ran into some serious financial woes and found ourselves scrounging for change in the sofa cushions and having to actually plan our meals instead of just opening the fridge/freezer, picking a bacon, selecting a ‘side item’, cooking and eating.

Below you will see chicken breasts that we cut into smaller, no longer man-sized portions, and wrapped w/ a few slices of black pepper bacon we had left over from a previous bacon feast.

Pepper Bacon Wrapped Chicken Chunks
Pepper Bacon Wrapped Chicken Chunks

Though we did feel incredibly grateful that we at least had food to eat, making what you see in the photo last for 2 dinners and 2 lunches really sucked. Thankfully we had lots of crack cocaine to smoke between meals so we never felt any hunger pains. LOL.

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A Bounty of Bacon-Wrapped Scallops

The other day a friend sent us a picture that made our mouths water more than normal. And yes, you dumbass, the picture had bacon in it.

Bacon Wrapped Scallops at Buck Ridge Plantation
Bacon Wrapped Scallops at Buck Ridge Plantation

Now just imagine getting a picture of a TROUGH filled w/ bacon-wrapped scallops — after you’d just finished eating a lame ass, generic brand hot dog. Granted the hot dog had a jacket of bacon, but still… Scallops trump hot dog ANY damn day!

WTF is Buck Ridge Plantation?

So glad you asked! Our friends tell us people travel from all over the SC area to go there, stay for a few days, and do some serious deer hunting… or they go there for a wedding. LOL.

Seriously, though. The place has a ton of natural, South Carolina wilderness surrounding well-maintained, modern banquet halls and stuff. Clearly an ideal place to have a beautiful wedding — or blast a hole in some of Mother Nature’s best woodland creatures — and kick back with a bucket of bacon-wrapped scallops and cold beer!

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Beautiful Bacon Makes for a Beautiful Sandwich

Everyone knows we love bacon and that we judge all things solely on their bacon content. OK, so not all things, but it almost sounded believable for a minute, right?

At any rate, when you go out for lunch and order a sandwich with bacon in it, you expect to get real bacon, not some lame excuse for bacon. Limp, greasy strips of mystery ‘meat’ need not apply!

So it should come as no surprise that we frequent a hot little lunch spot called Four Moons Internet Cafe in Orangeburg, SC because it has the best looking and tasting bacon of ANY lunch spot in the area. They use good quality Applewood Bacon and cook it just right so that you get a perfect crispiness-to-meatiness ratio when you bite into your sandwich.

Need proof? We thought you would, so we asked the proprietor to snap us a picture of the bacon they use before it goes on a sandwich. Check it out!

Four Moons Internet Cafe BaconGreat Lookin’ Applewood Bacon at Four Moons Internet Cafe

Damn… Judging by the amount of drooling going on right now, it seems as though lunch plans just got made for tomorrow! Hope to see ya’ there!

Advice for Other Lunch Shops:

  • See the bacon above? If you bacon doesn’t like as good or better, then your sandwiches will suck moose crap!

  • No deli should even consider calling itself ‘Gourmet’ unless they take as much care and concern for the quality of the bacon they top a sandwich with as they do all the other ingredients. No one cares about a sandwich made w/ fresh bread or a fancy mustard spread if the bacon sucks, ya’ dig?

  • A lot more people judge a deli by its bacon than you think. Know why? Because delis charge extra for it and 99.9% of people inthis world pay close attention to the things they have to pay extra for. Think about it!

  • Go have lunch at Four Moons Internet Cafe, enjoy your meal, and while you’re there… try learn a thing or two about the proper usage of bacon on a sandwich, will ya’?

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Most Popular Bacon Postings for December 2009

As would only make sense on a web site devoted to bacon and all its salty, meaty goodness… we will now present the most popular entries on More Bacon Please for the month of December. So get your bibs on, people! It’s BACON TIME!

  • Duck Prosciutto Wrapped Melon Sorbet — Talk about a delicious idea! Not bacon, no, but contained meat and tasted so good we gave it an Honorary Bacon Degree!

  • Breakfast Meats Cure Hangovers — Groundbreaking new study ‘proves’ something we always suspected.

  • Have a Threesome With Bacon — Get your minds out of the gutter, people! You should feel ashamed that you had those dirty, dirty thoughts… though we had them, too, so…

  • Bacon Flavored Ice Cream — Although we do not approve of this product, we do approve of the word bacon in its title and on its ingredients list. We just refuse to eat bacon flavored ice cream.

  • The Better Bacon Sandwich — Time to decide which sandwich with bacon you would choose. Granted we think it a sin to EVER pass up a chance to eat bacon, but just pretend for a minute that you HAD to choose only on sandwich that had bacon on it… We said pretend, damn it!

And this entry gets honorable mention… ‘cuz WE liked it even if the rest of you didn’t!

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