So what can ya’ do with small wieners? Especially the ones made from quality meat like Nathan’s and Hebrew National? Rest assured we have found a baconified use for those, too!

Just last night we feasted on some Nathan’s Hot Dogs prepared in the following manner:

1. Cooked bacon. As usual.
2. Allowed bacon to drain on paper towel and cool to room temperature.
3. Cooked hot dogs while bacon cooled.
4. Diced a variety of fresh hot peppers while hot dogs cooked.
5. Opened hot dog buns and laid a strip of bacon on each bun wall.
6. Placed a line of diced hot peppers where the two strips of bacon meet.
7. Apply a ‘squiggle’ of mustard (not honey mustard!) over the peppers.
8. Drop a hot dog on top of all that and tuck all the components into place.

One additional thing we opted to do that some may not want to do: We added an additional ‘squiggle’ of mustard over the hot dog because hot dog buns don’t tend to have enough moisture in them for our taste.

We LOVED these hot dog, bacon and fresh hot pepper creations! You will, too!

So anyways, in lieu of a tasty bacon story, today we’d like to share a short and to the point bacon joke that we heard recently:

Years ago it was suggested ‘ that an apple a day kept the doctor away ‘ But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works best!

Did someone say… BACON SANDWICH?!?!?

We will never grow tired of that picture. Ever. EVER.

Above you see a whole lot of bacon getting cooked up real nice on our hosts’ sweet bacon cookin’ griddle. Nothing says, “Good Morning, You Evil Little Amphibians” better than a griddle full of bacon!

Naturally you ant to know what went into “The George Burger”, right? Of course you do! In the words of this bacon-a-licious burger’s creator,

“3/4 lb of lean burger meat stuffed w/ horseradish, freshly grated cheddar, handfuls of crumbled bacon… then topped w/ swiss cheese. Oh, and of course more bacon!”

We will forgive George for neglecting to mention what looks like mayonnaise and lettuce on the burger once it got cut open, which happens in the next pic.

So if you ever feel the need to eat a giant, meaty, bacon-stuffed, beast-sized burger with a whole lot of flavor, give George’s recipe a try!

OK, we’ll tolerate it, but you have to give us an eggroll.

Getting back to the point of today’s bacon blog, we wanted to create our own combo platter using similar meats, but with a twist… we wanted to wrap them in bacon!

Chicken, Shrimp & Bacon Combo Platter?

And so now we say, “HA!” to General Tso and his friends Sesame Chicken, Mu Shu Pork, and Fried Rice! Then we curse at them in Mandarin and dump diet soy sauce on their doorsteps!

At any rate, we got some black pepper bacon from the store the other day and noticed that each strip had either taken Viagra or the butcher shop cut them extra large and long. Either way, we just HAD to try fitting as much of our meat in the… pan as possible.

Don’t sit there and act like you wouldn’t do the same thing, dang it! ‘Cuz you know you would try to fit as much of your meat in as you could!

Big Bacon, Little Pan! Big Bacon, Little Pan!

The combination of bacon, grilled (marinated) chicken breast, fresh sliced jalapenos and provolone cheese kicks major amounts of ass — and can BURN one’s ass the next day if too many jalapenos get used. Ha ha.

Bacon + Chicken + Provolone + Jalapenos = Awesome

Notice we even included a vegetable on the plate this time? Yep. Broccoli works as an excellent side dish with a bacon, chicken and cheese creation.

Bacon Cooking in the Pan… All Angled and Stuff.

Bacon awaits you in the morning, Master!

Wake Up to a Strip of Fresh Cooked Bacon

Imagine, if you will, waking up to the glorious smell of bacon each and every morning — without the expense of a live-in chef OR the aggravation of an annoying significant other who gets up earlier than you do!

Never mind the obvious fire hazard created when ya’ put a heating unit inside a wooden pig. Think, instead, about all the great mornings your half-asleep self will clumsily jam your grubby fingers inside a hot tray and burn the dog snot out of yourself.

As you reel your fingers back in pain, try not to drop your salty, meaty bacon prize on your (most likely unswept and un-vacuumed) floor — ‘cuz then you will have a mere ten seconds to pick it up and eat it w/o fear of germs.

10 second rule, man! The ten second rule!

“Yes, Sir, Captain Belvedere! That sounds like a GREAT idea!”

* burp *

Bacon Wrapped Hashbrowns

The house started to smell pretty good as the slippery meat slowly drained its meaty juices into the hashbrowns and the hasbrowns drank up every drop.

Wow. That sounded pretty obscene.

But anyways, the cooking took place and soon we ventured back to the oven which we keep over near the fridge — the fridge that conveniently held the vodka and OJ. After doling out another round of 22 ounce pre-breakfast brain bashers and giving them a hearty taste test, we opened up the oven and saw…

Bacon Wrapped Hashbrowns

Needless to say we did not get the results we thought we would, but everything turned out OK in the end… ‘cuz it tasted fine and we had no choice BUT to eat the stuff since we had nothing else in the house worth eating and none of us could pass a sobriety test if we got pulled over.

All this before 9 AM. Saturdays ROCK!