Now we must tell you, though, that we had more beer lined up waiting to go in the fridge… but damn… don’t that there fridge full’o'beer look right perty?

Bottles of liquor made an appearance, too. More accurately they made a DISappearance. Ha ha. One of the liquor adventures included sample bottles of Jagermeister and Tequila Rose. The guy at the liquor store, an self-admitted lover of bacon, by the way, suggested we add a shot called Jagged Rose to the stuff we’d lined up on the counter already. Hmmmm…. How could we resist?

How’d it taste? Not too bad… Not too bad at all.

And now for the bacon

You didn’t think we’d post something and not mention bacon, did you? Silly rabbit! Take yourself out back and flog yourself with a gopher corpse!

So anyways, our hosts also love bacon and couldn’t WAIT to show us a new bacon-infused cheese their local deli recently began selling… and what better way to demonstrate the sheer awesomeness of a new cheese than over perfectly cooked, hand-packed burgers, right?

The cheese? Cheddar. The bacon? Applewood smoked. The verdict? Totally tasty! Go out and get some right now if you can!

Many rolls of toilet paper died a horrible fate after some KFC meals… Need we go into more detail than that?

So anyways, we decided to pick up a few of the new KFC Double Down sandwiches to see if the hype matched the allegedly meaty meal’s real nature.

Below you will see a picture of the ‘fried’ version. We wanted the ‘grilled version’, but the guy in front of us walked away with the last one.

If we had a nickel for each time we went to KFC and had to wait some ridiculous amount of time because they ran out something ‘right before we got there’, we’d have an eighteen wheeler full of nickels… and hence another reason why we gave up on the Colonel a long time ago: No one has given us any nickels for our inconvenience.

Getting back to the KFC Double Down review, though, first let us tell you that each sandwich costs a little more than $5 apiece.

Huh? What? $5 per SANDWICH? Wow.

So after scarfing down one of the fat and calorie bomb Double Downs we all agreed that they tasted good (we ordered ours w/ extra sauce), and also that none of us could figure out exactly what part of the sandwich gave it such a salty taste.

For anyone looking to fill up on just a sandwich, don’t bank on it if you have a hearty appetite. An average person could probably manage two of the sandwiches as a meal without too much difficulty.

As for the bacon, well, the KFC Double Down did, indeed, have two strips of bacon. Not much more we can say about the bacon other than the KFC Double Down would have lacked character without it.

Then again, we say that about ANYthing that has bacon on or in it…

One final note: We liked the fact that they threw pepper jack cheese into the mix instead of some generic, bland processed cheddar crap.

• Duck Prosciutto Wrapped Melon Sorbet — Talk about a delicious idea! Not bacon, no, but contained meat and tasted so good we gave it an Honorary Bacon Degree!

• Breakfast Meats Cure Hangovers — Groundbreaking new study ‘proves’ something we always suspected.

• Have a Threesome With Bacon — Get your minds out of the gutter, people! You should feel ashamed that you had those dirty, dirty thoughts… though we had them, too, so…

• Bacon Flavored Ice Cream — Although we do not approve of this product, we do approve of the word bacon in its title and on its ingredients list. We just refuse to eat bacon flavored ice cream.

• The Better Bacon Sandwich — Time to decide which sandwich with bacon you would choose. Granted we think it a sin to EVER pass up a chance to eat bacon, but just pretend for a minute that you HAD to choose only on sandwich that had bacon on it… We said pretend, damn it!

And this entry gets honorable mention… ‘cuz WE liked it even if the rest of you didn’t!

• Bacon Wrapped Kielbasa Links — Do we REALLY need to explain WHY we liked this entry so much? Huh? Do we? Bacon… Kielbasa… Mmmmm…

The black pepper coated bacon that captured the attention of our tastebuds comes from WalMart… and it comes in 24 ounce packages instead of 12 or 16 ounce packages like most other brands.

After doing a little math, and comparison shopping, we discovered that the per ounce cost for the pepper coated bacon exceeds the per ounce costs of ‘regular’ bacon by only a few pennies and that it does not come anywhere near the (inflated!) per ounce costs of some ‘premium’ brands of bacon.

Bacon that looks great, smells great, cooks great, tastes great… and doesn’t break the bank. How can any rational bacon-loving person not love THAT?

Ever get shot at… by bacon? We have. Not so much with this kind of bacon, though. Yeah, sure, it takes a few cheap shots at you like ALL bacon does when it cooks, but at least THIS type of bacon has yet to put bacon grease stains two feet the wall behind the stove like several other types have.

Now substitute your face for the wall. Yes. Bacon grease can and will go after your face from time to time so always keep your guard up when cooking even the finest grade of bacon.

If the site of that bacon does not make you start drooling, you really ought to check your pulse. Seriously.

Now if you will please excuse us, we have to go and get us some bacon! All this talk about bacon has made us HUNGRY!

Seems silly, and once more we digress from our intended topic… BACON!

Today’s bacon review features Plumrose Premium Bacon which normally comes with a pricetag that we don’t like… but we found it for a really great sale recently so here goes nothing!

Now that you have seen the packaging, which really did not inspire any feelings of bacon lust or bacon desire within our souls, we will now show you raw, naked bacon up close and personal. Parental discretion advised.

Wow! Did you see the size of her… Huh? Oh, right. Gotta’ keep this PG-13. Ha ha.

So anyways, the bacon looked pretty damn good laying out all naked like that… so we just HAD to turn up the heat, ya’ know?

Now who wants to see a ‘before and after’ picture featuring… bacon?

Verdict: We felt this bacon definitely lived up to its ‘premium’ labeling despite not costing us a week’s wages. It gave off a really good smell right out of the pack and cooked up relatively easily w/o shooting an excessive number of hot grease globs at us (see August 10, 2009′s Bacon Review: Fresh Market Bacon). We award Plumrose Premium Bacon 3.81 slices (out of 5) and suggest you try it next time it goes on sale.

Why wait for it to go on sale? Simple: Even bacon tastes better when you get it for less money, stupid!

At any rate, we had this particular bacon on our Bacon Radar for a long time before we actually got around to buying it. Why did it take so long? Simple: Pretty much every store always had the Oscar Mayer brand of bacon priced way too damn high for our budget… until now, obviously, and only ‘cuz Wal-Mart had it on sale.

So yes, indeed, folks, we will now get to live out our Oscar Mayer fantasy. Damn, that sounded perverted. Forget I said that.

We think too many people forget the importance of taking the time to select the correct package of bacon while in the grocery store. As we stand there comparing the marbling and colors found in each unique package at least two or three people (usually on the phone gabbing about useless crap) walk up, look for a particular brand or sale price, grab the first pack of bacon they see that fits their criteria, and head off to the next item on their shopping list.

Over the years we have hypothesized that the same people who haphazardly choose their bacon probably also park illegally in handicapped spots, run red lights at dangerous intersections, abuse puppies and kittens with frayed steel cables, cheat on their spouses with members of the same sex, and routinely watch primetime sitcoms about pregnant gophers bashing each other genitals with flaming phlegm balls.

People like that don’t DESERVE bacon! But I digress…

At first we feared that our eagerness to sink our fangs into the Oscar Mayer bacon would result in our giving an unfair, biased opinion about the product but worry not, friends, because we love bacon waaaaay too much to EVER steer you wrong… when it comes to bacon, at least. lol.

Don’t EVER ask us for advice on your love life, tax problems, car trouble or if that bathing suit makes you look fat… ‘cuz it DOES.

Geting back to the bacon, you could clearly see that we picked a prime package of bacon that day. Now you get to see what we saw when we put the bacon in the pan…

Wow. So meaty and so sexy laying in that pan getting all hot’n'bothered.

Hey! Get your mind out of the gutter, OK?

Now you can yell at us if you like for not posting a picture of the Oscar Mayer Thick Cut after cooking. We would LOVE to tell you that our Inner Bacon Beasts took over caused us to wolf down the meat as soon as it cooled down enough to get it into our mouths… but we can’t lie to you like that.

Pretty much right as we finished cooking the bacon a group of angry terrorist crackheads burst through the front door of our humble bacon-loving home and stole all of our electronic devices in the name of their leader, Prince Dookiepants the Terrbile from Toledo, Ohio. Before we knew what happened they had stolen everything and left us only with the clothes on our backs and the bacon on our stove.

After calling the Police from a neighbor’s phone we returned homwe to ur recently ransacked abode, sat around the kitchen table eating bacon and bitching about life.

OK, so we actually just plain and simple forgot to take pictures. OOPS.

The bacon tasted great, though, and cooked up really well. No lame, shriveled up scraps of meat and not a ton of grease left over after cooking 8 pieces, either. Pretty darn impressive, right?

Verdict: We awarded Oscar Mayer Thick Cut Bacon 4.5 strips (out of 5). What cost them that half a point? We got hungry and ate it… ‘cuz it tasted like bacon!

With that said, we want ALL of you to think of the one brand of bacon that others knock, but you still buy… because it doesn’t break the bank, cooks up pretty decently, etc., etc. For everyday bacon cooking events ot OUR house we stand by the “Carolina Pride” brand of bacon. Thick sliced, if possible, please.

We may have to weed through a few packs of bacon in the store searching for the pack that looks the way we want it to in terms of its fat-to-meat ratio, but we never leave the bacon aisle emptyhanded and Carolina Pride (Thick Cut) bacon always cooks up in a way that we enjoy.

Sheesh… All this talk about Carolina Pride bacon has made me hungry.

Wow. If a site like THAT doesn’t get you bacon motors running then you may have died… and become a vegetarian! lol.

Now go out and buy that favorite bacon brand you like so much and cook up some bacon right now! That’s a direct order, soldier!

As usual we opened up our latest pack of bacon all the way to get a good, close look at its marbled appearance and allow its smoky aroma to break free from the confines of the bacon’s hermetically sealed packaging. Then we layed it out all sexy like…

Overly dramatic? We don’t think so. No true bacon lover would think so! Shame on you for even THINKING that bacon does not deserve such care and concern… before it gets tossed into a hot pan and cooked.

Nothing makes a bacon lover happier than seeing bacon in the pan. Nope. Nothing. Bacon in the pan equals unparalleled euphoric bliss.

OK, we lied. Fresh cooked bacon in a bacon lover’s hand delivering it to the bacon lover’s mouth makes a bacon lover happier. Now on withthe show, please!

This concludes another test of the Emergency Bacon Broadcasting Network. Had this been an actual bacon emergency a man in a shredded lab coat wearing a gas mask and jogging shoes would have kicked down your door and offered you three pounds of Hormel Black Label Bacon for the low, low price of… of… Well with prices that low we can’t tell you over the air! Why? ‘Cuz we’re insaaaaaaane!

Thank you Hormel Black Label Bacon! We love you!

Well apparently enough time had passed because we bought another pound of the stuff recently and decided to see what it would taste like if we let it sit in hot sauce overnight before throwing it in a hot pan for cooking.

Neeless to say we really do need to get lives, but let’s save that conversaton for another day and get back to the bacon.

How it cooked: We noticed a marked change in the way the bacon shriveled in the pan, as it did not curl up quite as much as our control group of slab bacon that did not sit in hot sauce all night. Additionally we noticed that the hot sauce soaked bacon seemed to stay pretty moist throughout the cooking process.

How it smelled: The majority of the hot sauce cooked off and scorched the insides of our nostrils. Thankfully we like the small of hot sauce, especially Frank’s Red Hot, so this did not prove problematic. Aside from the smell of gaseous hot sauce we detected the glorious aroma of… bacon. No surprises there.

How it looked: The finished product appeared healthy, moist, and delectable with a seductive red tint imparted by the hot sauce.

How it tasted: The first piece we tried had pretty much the same characteristics we noted when we sampled this same type of slab bacon in the past… except that it seemed a bit juicier and saltier.

Our reward from this little experiment came when we sat and chewed a piece in the same manner as a person would gnaw on a chunk of beef jerky. Wow! The wonderful taste of Frank’s Red Hot and quality bacon blended together in a spectacular fashion that we had never experienced before. Very tasty!

Verdict: Ahem. As we already said, “Very tasty!” We’ll give the experiment with hot sauce marinated slab bacon a rating of 4 strips out of 5. We think that if we ever try this experiment again, we will cook the bacon in the oven. Might lead to more hot sauce lingering in the meat!